Thursday, December 17, 2015

the words slipped from my mouth

the words slipped from my mouth... and i didn't take them back
how can i? when
they are mine own words
they speak what i think

i wish they didn't cut you 
i wish i can allow myself
to eat them down
stop them from bubbling forth
but i can't
i can't shut them in 

and so i lay them there
with their edges poking out
and i pray that i can kiss the wounds
my words have caused.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

1 John 4:19

There are flashes, moments, days,
When I just want to isolate
myself from everyone else,
Withdraw into myself.

Because to love others is to plate
out your heart
for hurt and pain.

But when I want to put up a wall,
stop my feelings from bearing it all,


I will remember He who has first loved me,

And I will follow Him,
In His love,
in His radical self-abandoning love.


Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Review: Memento (Chris Nolan)

SPOILERS

How do we find truth?

We build it upon certain, known, established facts. So it seems as though the only way to get the whole picture of the truth is by corralling different facts which surely will cohere neatly into a unified body of knowledge.

That was the premise that Memento advertised to us. It’s a movie about a man who suffers from short-term memory loss and who has to find out about the events surrounding his wife’s murder. IMDb says so. Wikipedia says so. It’s marketed as a sort of whodunit, and the audience patiently watches Leonard’s journey as he writes down clues -  “mementos” – to build a picture of the truth from the ground-up.

In any good detective fiction, it’s normal to have assumptions. You need to have assumptions to build a hypothetical scenario of how the crime happened. But the danger lies in building an entire case around pre-assumptions, i.e. prior knowledge that you think are certain and that you never questioned. From the beginning of the movie, we are told that “Teddy is a liar”. We (Leonard and the audience) take it, we don’t question it, we think it to be true. As the movie works its way forward in time, which is itself an interesting narrative device, the statement that “Teddy is not to be trusted” seems to align with what is happening. It has the appearance of truth.

But at the very end of the movie, which is when the chronological action actually starts, we see how this pre-assumption is totally wrong. Turns out… Teddy isn’t a liar. The basic premise that we’ve been operating on, is actually entirely false. Knowing this, we then see how we’ve misinterpreted every other fact that we have assimilated into our “truth” jigsaw puzzle. And the big irony is that by revealing us events from the past, the movie is depicting the danger of building our views based on past assumptions.


Even the way the movie is marketed is an example of this. The summary shows that it’s a movie about the unreliability of memory. With this “knowledge” given to them even before they watch the movie, the viewers are lulled into thinking that the major problem in this detective story is Leonard’s memory loss. We suspect that his memory will be the “tragic flaw” that will lead him and the audience astray. But we think because we know this (a pre-assumption), all we have to do to anticipate this trap and steer clear of it. In the end, however, we see how we’ve actually misread Teddy, Leonard - the entire movie - based on that one false premise we never sought to challenge. 

Monday, December 7, 2015

Eyes upon Jesus

Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of the earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

"I'm Manuel" Can't

Manuel needs at least three Bs to be deemed worthy enough for a university education. His excellence in basketball, his fierce overprotectiveness towards his little sister, his insurmountable ability in making fluffy pancakes – they mean nothing.

It’s strange how a paper determines who you are. Manuel supposes it’s because people like making things fast, snappy, and, worst of all, easy. People like reading a something short, as if that would give them the whole picture.

So Manuel stops his basketball. He stops taking Isabella to the park. Pancake-making belonged to a past he has severed from himself now.

Now who is he? A shiny gold plate stating his “achievements”. A culmination of certificates, grades, and the calculated utility he brings to society. These are what he must use to justify the little space he occupies in this planet.


“I’m Manuel” can’t be the reason for his existence any longer. 

Submitted for Ad Hoc Fiction's flash fiction competition.