Journalling Helps

Exams have just ended, and now I've entered into a season of re-organizing my life. I'm preparing to leave Durham, and so of course that means packing up, throwing away, keeping aside things. And I think what I've found the hardest to trash are all the notes I've made over the course of three years here. I've accumulated notes from church services, from Bible study groups, personal reflections, lectures, you name it. It's strange, because I don't normally look back at these notes, but yet I just can't bring myself to toss them into the recycling bin. I think it's something to do with my unwillingness to let go of certain memories and experiences, and my want to retain those memories in some tangible form. If you can't already tell, I'm a hoarder, especially when it comes to books and notes and journal entries.

So I've decided to type them out and save them in my computer, keep a little archive on the Internet. There might be some that would crop up here soon, but mostly it will be privated.

As I'm heading towards the close of my academic career (very likely for good!), it was great to look back at what I've learnt, what my thoughts were, and also be struck afresh by things that I've totally forgotten. It was overwhelming being confronted with so many sheets of paper and so many squiggly words that were written in haste. And in some sense, the enterprise of trying to preserve words get all the more cumbersome with technology. It's great because with blogs, and Word documents and whatnot, I could just about type and archive EVERYTHING. But in another sense, the work becomes tedious simply because I know that the I have the option of doing so. So I have to be selective about what I really want to keep and what I could let go. I've vetted some of the things that have really struck me, some of the things that I would love to carry with me to the next stage of my life.

I don't normally look back at my notes or my journal entries, but I think I'll try to do it more! I was just typing out some of the notes from my Bible study group in my first  year, and was encouraged by some things that have fallen through the cracks in my brain.

And more than just notes or lessons that I've learnt, looking back at my earlier journal entries, I see how God has worked truly in my life, growing me in faith and in knowledge of Him. The struggles that I had are now seen and reflected upon with a new perspective. The mistakes I made are regarded with a mix of regret but also sympathy. The joys that I experienced are remembered anew and with great happiness.

In any case, my past experiences and memories really do show my weakness, and my utter dependence on God! I think as Christians we do need to journal, at least monthly or annually. Because I've found that the progress I've made in knowing and loving God, the trials He brought me through, (duly) magnify my view of God. And you really do see how God keeps His promise of sanctifying His children! (Philippians 1:6) If anything, I'm more excited to see how He would further grow me in Him, for however long in this lifetime.