Spoilers ahoy!
Honestly, there were so many things about this movie that make my blood boil at the fact that I've wasted a good three hours watching it. First of all: the plot. It seemed like a promising one at first, the Autobots were being hunted down and being labelled as threats even though they were clearly not. And everything seems set for a perfect action movie with the introduction of lead characters who are engineers/inventors, who might actually be able to contribute to the action.
Alas, it was too good to be true.
Elephant-sized plot holes started appearing all around. Like the fact that Cade managed to fix a critically wounded Optimus Prime in less than a day. Or the fact that Cade is able to contact Joshua Joyce out of nowhere. Because Cade apparently has the magic superpower of dodging plot holes. Plain weirdness and non-common sense reigned for about 98% of the film. Like the weird transition to China, and the convenient dino bot thingos, and the super awkward fact that the main antagonist - Harold Attinger - wanted to combat aliens by employing the help of other aliens...? Seriously, who wrote this script?
Interesting characters gradually became paper-thin 2D characters by the end of the movie rather than being carefully and lovingly fleshed out. Tessa's character could have the potential to become the next Megan Fox character - a cool, beautiful chick who knows her way around machines and who could actually be useful to the team. But nooooo. She had to be used as the pretty face. Her character was interesting at first, she had to take care of her dad, she had to get a scholarship to go to college, her dad even said that he taught her all she needed to know about mechanics and machines. But urgh, was she a letdown. She was just used by Michael Bay as the mandatory pretty face, one whom Bay, by the way, consistently remind us is only sixteen years old. Oh gosh, if she had to be pretty poster girl, could he at least have her be a little street smart? She ran into a car which was right smack in the middle of a battle between Optimus Prime and Lockdown. Shouldn't she, I don't know, run away from the car instead? Ooh and when everyone's running for their lives, trying to escape Lockdown's ship, she suddenly has to freak out and provide an opportunity for those alien hounds to run after them.
Shane was an inconsistent character, I don't even know what to think of him. One time he's saying he would do anything for Tessa and the next he's surrendering to the aliens. Meh. Joshua and Cade's characters are alright, but still I don't care for them much. Mostly, I was just annoyed at them though.And then there're side characters who are just hovering in the periphery of the main plot, not far enough for us to dismiss them but not near enough for us to care for them. There was Yueming, Darcy, and Lucas, all given a fair amount of screen time, but enough for us to develop any sort of liking towards them.
And my goodness. The movie was sooooooo long that I literally fell asleep. There was just too much going on and the way that the plot progresses was just so confused and hazy. When the Autobots manage to defeat those robots in Hong Kong, I was elated. It was like, "yes finally the battle is over!" Then Lockwood's ship started rolling in, and I could feel my heart just burst into tears. Then I settled in for a good nap, waking up at the end of the movie when the Autobots and humans were saying their goodbyes.
Perhaps the only thing I liked about this film is the scenes with just the robots, sans the humans. The Autobots were interesting and they had a nice dynamic between the different characters. I can actually tell them apart now, which is a huge improvement from the previous movies. But it's really rather sad of a movie when the only thing good about it is the CGI-ed robot interactions rather than the acting skills of live humans. Ah well, maybe that's why even Optimus Prime decides to leave earth by the end of the movie. Perhaps he's had enough of Bay's shenanigans.
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